投稿

2012の投稿を表示しています

Prime Minister

What would I do, if I was elected Prime Minister of Japan? There are couple of things that occur to me. We'll have to be aware of economic policy, welfare policy and diplomatic policy. In the first place we get  Japanese economy straightened up. Since the bankrupcy of Lehmann Brothers in 2008, the Japanese economy has been suffering from an unprecendented crisis. Our stocks are going down due to the staggering appreciation of Japanese Yen. We've got a slight chance of exporting products profitably. Given the situation the incentive money to give each person $120.00 means almost nothing. In my family my domineering wife takes all the money. Even if I get it, I'd wind up spending money at a Karaoke bar singing with German cuties. Instead we'd better spend the moeny on people in neeed, such as  disabled, elderly and homeless people. I believe that would bring much more impact on economy. In terms of educational policy, I recommend that we raise a fund for supporti

Guest Worker

Today I'd like to talk about a funny story when I went on a trip to Germany. My flight with Royal Dutch Airlines has been delayed for a long time in Amsterdam. I made it to Inter City Hotel in Neurnberg at 3:00 in the morning. I was so exhausted that I wanted to get into my room right away and sleep like a log. At the front desk a short chubby man had been waiting for me. He smiled at me and said to me politely, "Mr. Kaneko, we have been expecting you." I just wanted to show him a voucher, which I acquired from HIS (Japanese Travel Agency in Duesseldorf). The voucher means that I have already paid the hotel fee through the agency. But somehow he insisted that I turned in my credit card, too. I asked him for the reasons. "Well, Mr Kaneko, once you get in your room, maybe you'd like to have some refreshment and watch TV and say a video. I mean, don't you like to see pretty sexy German girls?" He giggled. His brown eyes twinkled behind the gold-rimmed gla

House Animals

Many people in Germany keep house animals. As a joke they like to draw a picture of a streotyped German family consisting of Husband, Wife and Dog. Nevertheless house animals play various important roles such as a companion, a caregiver and a protector. Make a speech on house animals for 3-4 minutes. You will have to be aware of the following five points when you give a talk. 1. Experiences with house animals 2. Situation in your home town 3. Advantages of keeping house animals 4. Disadvantages of keeping house animals 5. Your personal opinion on this matter Hello, everyone. Today I'm here to talk about house animals. I used to keep a Siberian husky when I was living in Tokyo. The blue-eyed puppy was so sweet that I walked her every morning. But when I was in the States on business, my wife and daughter had given secretly to someone in Sakai-shi. If the little dog is once grown up, it became a handful for my family. Shame on my wife! There are many families in Japan w

My Mentor

Today I'd like to introduce one of my friends, Shozo, to you. He's 73 years old and living in Hammatsu City. He dedicated his whole life to Civic Motor Company. For starters he worked at Civic Belgium. Then he relocated to Civic Reserach and Developtment Center in Saitama. After that he moved to Marietta Civic, Ohio, USA. He retired at the age of 60 but he wanted to stay in the States. So he signed up for Lord Warriors in Pennsylvania where I met him for the first time in 2003. Lord Warrior is search consultant firm specializing in placing professional, managerial and executive candidates with Japanese owned companies in the States. He was president's right hand. It was nice of him to invite me over to his apartment in Indiana, where he gave me a crash course for the executive search company. He was ariticulate and inspiring when it came to the the nuts and bolts of running a business. He was really my mentor. It's a shame that I could work with him for only a coup

"Konoyaro!"

Today I'd like to talk about one of my former company associates when I was working for a joint-venture between America and Japan. His name is Toshi. He worked for Star Freedom Inc., the sole distributor of the joint-venture. He graduated from Tokyo Engineering University. He was big into Go. In fact he was not good at speaking English. When we had lunch in a Japanese restaurant with American sales managers from the headquarters in Chicago, there used to be an awkward silence. Toshi shudders to think about even speaking to the Americans. One day he invited me to his Go club in Shinagawa. Instead of playing Go we just drank together to blow steam off. For we were a Madogiwa-personnel (an old employee due to his incapability doing nothing in the office except watching girls walking by through the window.) He told me how difficult to pronounce English. He experienced that during his stay in Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA. When he came back into his hotel room, he found a maid bed

Some Christmas!

Christmas is just around the corner. What do your decorations or lights look like this year? Did you listen to Christmas songs? Did you write Christmas cards? I did. I wrote to a German teacher in German. He's a typical fat German with a beard. That reminds me of Santa Claus. In Germany they call him not Santa Claus but Nikolaus. Nikolaus was born in the Eastern Roman Empire(current Turkey). His story dates back as far as in the 11th century when the Queen Thepandaou governed. In the 14th century Martin Luther forbade Nikolaus to give Chrismas presents to children. Nowadays in Germany instead of Nikolaus a Christmas Kind gives Christmas presents in the Christmas Market. In the 1930s All American Coca-Cola cooked up the name Santa Claus for its commercial. That's why the name Santa Claus is worldwide known. Well, I don't give it damn about the western history. After all I am Japanese, I just love  Santa Claus. Actually I really believed in Santa Claus when I was a kid

Hitler's last twelve days

Haggard though he was, he was still capable of inspiring fear, of falling into raging "carpet chewing" tirades. On April 25, he received a message from Goering: "Mein Fuehrer: Since you are determined to remain at your post in Fortress Berlin, do you agree, that I, as your deputy......assume immediately the total leadership of the Reich...." Goaded by the Goering-hating Martin Bormann, Der Fuehrer's eyes bulged with fury. "Nothing is spared me!" he screamed. "Nothing!" Every disillusion, every betrayal, dishonor, treason has heaped upon me!" Ordering Goering arrested stripped of all titles, he next heard that Heinrich Himmler had begun to negotiate with the enemy. "Now Himmler has betrayed me!" he shouted, and issued the same orders for the destruction of the weak-chinned little mass murderer. Hitler now executed his last general: Hermann Fegelein, Eva Braun's brother-in-law and Himmler's representatives in the Berlin b

Taliban vs. Jew

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties. The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $5." The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I find water first!" "OK," said the old Jewish man, "it does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need. Schalom. Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill. Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead.....! The Taliban finally catches his bre

Word Association Game

Japanese children know this game as "Magical Banana" PROCEDURE 1. Player A says any random word e.g. "banana" 2. Player B says "banana reminds me of ...e.g. "yellow" "fruit" "monkey" 3. Player C says "yellow reminds me of...e.g. "lemon" "coward" "chicken" and so on RULES 1. Part of the same word may not be used..e.g. "beach reminds me of "beachball" 2. The same word as a different part of speech may not be used..e.g. "death" reminds me of "dying" 3. Two word answers may not be useed...e.g. "vactaion" reminds me of "good times" 4. Proper nouns may not be used...e.g. ..."holiday" reminds me of "Hawaii" 5. The same word may not be used twice in the same game 6. The association between words must be ovious to all players.     If not, the game leader will say,  "Explain", and you will be called upo

Felix Hoffmann

The trademark aspirin is derived from A=Acetyl and "Spirsaeure" or asalicycylic acid. 1886   By chance two doctors prescribed acetaiid for a patient 1891  Bayer employed as many as 90 chemists in the north of Koeln 1897  A chemist named Felix Hoffmann developed aspirin in the laboratory of Bayer 1898  Bayer's pharmalogist explained  to doctors and scientists at the meeting         New sabstance is 10 times more effective and less toxinated than conventional  medicine 1889  They put aspirin in the German market           Application area; Headache 1917  Bayer's patents in America expired Aspirin sales remained strong thanks to widespread use as a preventitive treatment for heart attacks and strokes To this day 40,000 tons of aspirin were sold all over the world

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (published by Bloomsbury)

Chapter one (Dudley Demented) Page 13, Line 20 (Quote) ....... In fact, he was so angry with them he had thrown away, unopened, two boxes of Honeydukes chocolates they'd sent him for his birthday. he regretted it later, after the wilted salad Aunt Petunia had provided for dinner that night. (Unquote) It's all Greek to me! He regretted it later, because Aunt Petunia had provided the wilted salad for dinner that night. (Correct?) page 14, line 12 (Quote) ---- Nevertheless, it was quite galling to be rash by a man who had served twelve years in the wizard prison, Azkaban, escaped, attempted to commit the murder he had been convicted for in the first place, then gone on the run with a stolen Hippogriff. (Unquote) --------> who hat served twelve years in the wizard prison, Azkaban, escaped, attempted to commit the murder he had had been convicted for in the first place, then gone on the run with a stolen Hippogriff.

Follow-up Express

The memory of your outstanding particpation at the meeting fades quickly out of your mind, unless you take action to reinforce its impact. Here's how: Act now! As soon as the meeting is over, find a quiet place to sit and write: -The topic of the meeting, time, date and length of the meeting "Euro crisis", Nov. 17th, 15:00-17:00 -Key points you made and the other participants' reactions. It's time that Europe established a consolidated state like U.S.A. It' now or never! Everyone agreed. -Most important aspects of the commentaries presented by the mc. (1) We spoke highly of the excellent decision made by the French President Giskardesten and the former Germarn Prime Minister Kohl that they jumped in the EURO Zone (2) Stop quibbling each other! After all you're small countries lumped together (3) Now go for another super-power that surmounts the U.S.A! (4) Or China will scoop down on you and gulp you down at any moment. (5) No time buying t

Hey, Euro. You met your Waterloo!

The first time I saw Euro bills was back in February, 2007. I was in a Mitsubishi Bank, Osaka. A middle aged teller gave me them in exchange for Yen. I found the crisp Euro bills  fabulous, magical and fairy-taled. Immediately I recalled  reading the Germann fairy-tale, "Die Sterntaler". I said to myself, "At last I'm able to see that mesmerising blue-eyed blonde chick. Wow! Isn't that fantastic?" Three days later I dragged my trunk to the Kansai Airport. Customs search officer were strict. They took away my 100 Yen lighters for tight security reasons. The next day I arrived in Neurnberg. It goes without saying that I rushed to the Kiosk at Nuernberg Station and bought 2 lighters. That was the first time I used the new Euro bills. After that I went by train to Wuerzburg. I went into a small restaurant nearby. I ordered a cofffee. The waitress was young , but not so romantic as the fairy- tale girl.  Soon she came up to me with the bill. Then I looked

Top Tourists in the World

(Manner) Japanese people are evaluated as the best tourist, because they are polite on vacation. It is well known that the Germans are the world champion when they go on a trip, Thanks to their good manner and tidiness, vacationers from Germany as well as from Great Britain take the second place. (Tip) The Germans are a little bit stingy to give a tip. A great consolation to the Germans is that the French are the worst when it comes to tipping. Americans are so generous that they leave a large tip. Americans and the Germans stay top on this category. (Fashion) Italians and the French take the first place. Italians have the best taste in fashion. (Local Language) The German tourists are highly appreciated as they try to speak the local language where appropriate. But Americans take the first place when they speak the local language. (Food) Chinese people have no interest in the local food. They give a small tip and make the room maid busy!

A Trip bound for the South (from "Summer Lies")

I like a German author by the name of Bernhard Schlink. He always talks about "Lonely Middle." His men's figures: not a macho type, let women domineering, undecided and weak like me His women's figures: strong, self-conscious, self-willed and determined like my wife Today I would like to tell you one of his short stories entitled "Summer Lies"  It was written from the view of an old woman. I quote on a book review from New York Times. (Quote) A beloved grandmother in a retirement home finds herself suddenly alienated from her four dutiful children and 13 grandchildren. Her perplexity and frustration about the choice she has made in her life-she divorced her philandering husband only after their children were grown-overtake her as unpridictablly as her back pain. When a granddaughter escorts her to the college town where she lost her true love, she confronts the man, now widowed. They don't share a soulful reunion. Instead, he forces her to admit

How to write good English

Last Saturday I went to Kobe Japan-German Association to take part in German Speak-Up club. The theme was about various experiences you had in your childhood. I wanted to talk about my experience when I learned German through NHK Radio program in my high school days. For that purpose I brought the old text book which was printed in 1966. Unfortunately the facilitator took up different subjects such as differences in education system between Germany and Japan. They praised the German education system where students have no homework during the summer holidays, students enjoy sports activities in the munucipal districts and students have no lessons in the afternoon, and so on. On my way back home I dropped in a coffee shop by the name of "Dou Tor". I thumbed through the textbook and found a good passage for people who want to improve writing German. An idea occurred to me suppose if I replaced "German" with "English". So, I translated the passage into En

A journey to Kyoto

Today I'd like to talk about a little journey to Kyoto with German tourists. On the 6th of Octber my wife and I took them to Myoshin-ji by Hankyu train. Actually the temple is devided into smaller 47 temples. One of them is called Reiun-in where my grandfather's tomb is located. In the beginning a monk guided us to the tombstone. We prayed for my grandfather together. Inside the temple a nun showed us around the kitchen, a large tatami room and finally to the altar. She was proud of the story, that the Emperor often visited the temple a thousand years ago. I found the story a little bit boring. But I was impressed with my wife and the Germans. They were sitting straight and  eager to listen to her. After that we visited Arashiyama, where we enjoyed  walking through the bamboo forest. I felt awesome in the forest. Lastly we went back to Osaka by  Hankyu Railway. Three Japanese things that the German find "cute": 1. On a rainy day you'll find a small gadget  at

Zaibatsu School

In 1955 I entered a private elementary school in Kichijo-ji. My sister was a student at Seikei High School. My father was a lectuer at Seikei University. According to my father, the whole school is like a pradise, because once you' are in  an elemenary school you coud go up automatically to univerity without going through the examination hell. The former burnt-out Prime Minister Abe graduated from this Seikei Paradise. It took about 30 minutes from my house to school. On the first day my sister took me to the portal of school. She said, "Sadaji, behave yourself. Be nice to your friends" I nodded. Then she concluded, "I'll be picking you up at 12:00 by the main gate and take you back home. Good boy." I nodded again. In the classroom I made friends with Kazuo. His father was a porno writer. The book is entitled "Fucking Good!" We practiced Sumo before the statuette of Iwasaki Koyata, the founder of school and at the same time the guru of Mitsubish

Bosnia and Herzgovina

Last Sunday I went to German Cultural Center. What a shame! Our respectable German classrooms are now inside French Academy Center, as the number of  participants learning German is on the decline. In the beginning our German teacher said to participants, "Let's go drinking after the lesson!" Four out of eight participants answered right on the spot, "Why not?" I was one of them. I knew that my wife and  my daughter were out for dinner. The first part of the lesson ended.  Then we took a break. I smoked a cigarette outside the restaurant on the first floor watching a young, big and voluptious French waitress waiting on customers. When she bended over to serve a coffee, I could see her cleaveage. "Merci. Une belle femme!"  A couple had entered the classroom. A man spoke good German. But somethng is different. He seemed to be an Arabian when I looked at him closely. His wife is definately a Japanese, because she spoke good Kyoto dilalects. To my sur

What type of a book reader are you?

Last Tuesday I went to German cultural center. A young teacher assistent gave a presentation. The title is about various types of  book reading in Germany. The Germans are divided into four groups when it comes to book reading. 1) Book-resistant 9% of readers are allergic to reading books. Instead they like more watching  TV or surfing in internet than reading books 2) Normal  40% of the German people are classified as  normal readers who buy up to 9 books a year 3) Bookworm 27% of the Germans are classified into this group 4) Buy books but not read The rest of the Germans falls into this group. They just buy books and they stack up books against the wall What type of a book reader are you? -As for me, I buy strictly 5-6 German books a year. I don't care about Japanese books. I want to be immerged in the German language for the rest of my life. -I usually read Yomiuri Shimbun, novels and news in internet. -I read the German books just before I hit the hay. In g

Five simple greetings in German

If you speak English, you'll have no problem travelling around Germany. The Germans speak normally good English. But if you knew greetings in German, they would of  help to you. So, today, I'd like to introduce five simple German greetings to you. 1. Guten Tag! It means "How do you do?", ""Hello or Hi!"  and "Good day!" 2. Entschuldigung! Excuse me or sorry. 3. Danke! Thank you! Thanks! 4. Bitte Don't mention it. Please. 5. Tschüss! Bye bye. See you. Talk to you later. In general German pronunciation is easier than English. When you say "Theater", you don't have to stick out your tongue to pronouce the "TH" sound. It's a little bit difficult to pronouce  the "Ü" sound, though. Its a combination of "U" and "E" sound. Last not but least, please look the Germans in the face, when you speak to them. Facing someone this way assures sincerity.

Love is blind

Earlier ths month I visited my sister in Tokyo. The weather was tropical. I almost blacked out when I got off a station on JR Yamonote Line. It was the the sultriest day in this summer. My Sis was doing great. It was a relief. This time she told me about an interesting story. In 1960 she took part in a student demonstration against the Japan- US Security Treaty. The demo was so radical that the police harshly clamped down university students. Yet it had two meanings: 1. Because of the demo, the US President Eisenhower's visit to Japan was canceled. 2. One coed who studied at Tokyo University was killed in the clash between the students and the police. My sister was two years older than the coed but she had never spoken to her. To my surprise her late husband was arrested by the police because he involved in organizing the demonstration. As a fiancee she went to the police and asked the officer whether she could hand him a bento. It was kind of him to let her go and see her l

In Appomattox

GRANT: I met you once before, General Lee, while we were serving in Mexico, when we came over from General Scot's headquarters to visit Garland's brigade, to which I then belonged. I have always remembered your appearance, and I think I should have recognized you somewhere. LEE: Yes, I know I met you on that occasion and I have often thought of it and tried to recollect how you looked, but I have never been able to recall a single feature. (Some further brief mention of Mexico) I suppose, General Grant, that the object of our present meeting is fully understood. I asked you to ascertain upon what terms you would receive the surrender of our army. GRANT: The terms I propose are those stated substantially in my letter of yesterday, that is, the officers and men surrendered to be praoled and disqualified from taking up arms again until properly exchanged and all arms, ammunition, and supplies to be delivered up as captured property. LEE: Those are about the conditions which

SUMMARY

We should understand seven important facts about American Civil War(1861-1865). 1. A shot at Fort Sumter (South Carolina) 2. The Union turned back the Confederates at Gettysburg (PA, July.1-3. 1863) 3. The Gettysburg Address by Lincoln(Nov.19, 1863) 4. General Sherman march to the sea 5. Grant took Richmond 6. General Lee surrendered to General Grant at Appomattox Courthouse (Virginia) 7. Abraham Lincoln assaisinated on April 14, 1865

What every American should know about American History

The Civil War breaks out.(1861) The event: at 4:30 a.m. on April, 1861, hot-headed South Corolina rebels fired on Fort Sumter, beginning of four years of bloodshed and bitterness called the Civil War. While the Gentry of Charleston watched from the city's fashinable Battery, Confederate aritllery bombarded the fort until Sumter commandant Major Robert Anderson, his ammunition exhausted, surrendered. He and his garrison were permitted to withdraw with full military honors. The first shot can be dated precisely, and so the first battle, but the war really began decades earlier, as economic, social, political, and geographical differences between the people of  the North and those of the South heated to a boil. With each new state added to the Union, bitter debate ensued over whether the state would be admitted with or without slavery. Political compromises in 1820 (the Missouri Compromise) and 1850 only postponed the inevitable armed conflict. but nobody dreamed just how horrible a

It is very sweet of you to say so

How nice of you to say so. Thank you. It's nice of you to say so. I'm glad you liked it. (I'm glad you like it) (Informal) Thank you. Oh, good, I'm glad you think so. Did you really like it? It's nothing special Oh, not really. There's nothing to it really. Flattery will get you nowhere. (Rather formal) It's very kind of you to say so. It's very good of you to say that. Thank you. I worked very hard on it. Well, you did a good job, too. I could have done better, but thanks for saying so. How kind of you to say so. I'm OK.

Paul Newman

Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this story.(if you don't undeerstand this, tell your mother, she'll get it) A Michigan woman and  her family were vacationing in a small New England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice parlor. There was only one other patron in the store: Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee. The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. The actor nodded graciously and the star struck,  the woman smiled demurely. Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three children, you're forty-five years old, not a teenager! The clerk fille

"The best answer"

I subscribe to a German text book monthly which is edited by  National Radio Japan. In  the May issue there was a contest where we competed for the best email in German. Since I have much time to kill, I wrote email out of whim and sent it to the Radio Station. Last Friday I happened to buy the August issue. I thumbed through and I was astounded to find my name on page 117. They selected my email as the best answer. The next day I received a letter with a 500 Yen- book -coupon. My wife just smiled at me. But my daughter almost scooped up the coupon. I could have yelled at her, "Hey, Luder! Was denn? Das ist mein Schatz!" On second thought I thought it was childish. So I smiled at them by the same token. Anyway  I am sort of honoered. I'm happy that they made my name public. Incidentally this is the second time I saw my name in the same German textbook. Back in 1967 they printed my name in the text as I had evaluated their program positively.

Funny Story

A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was from the Commonwealth Police Drug Department and that the dog was a a "sniffing dog". His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work. The plane took off and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said, "Watch this". He told Sniffer to "search". Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds. Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm. The Policeman said, "Good boy," and he turned to the man and said, "That woman is in possession of mariuana, I'm mak

A View of the Dutch through the English Language

Dutch auction: an auction that proceeds backwards; one in which the price is reduced until a buyer is found. Dutch bargain: bargain made and sealed while drinking. beat the Dutch : to do somethng extraordinary or startling. Ex. How does he do it? It beats the Dutch. Dutch built: originally, Dutch flat-bottomed vessels; current usage attriuted to (a) male: long and lanky (b) female: see "Dutch bottomed." Dutch buttocked: originally, a strain of Dutch cattle with large hind quarters; comptemporary aasociation is the large, pear-shaped rump of modern Dutch women, stemming from excessive bicycle riding and dairy products. Dutch concert: babble of noises. Dutch consolation: the philosophy or attitude that, "Whatever ill befalls you, there is someone worse off than you. Dutch courage: courage induced by alchoholic drink. Dutch defense: surrender. do a Dutch : to desert, escape; commit suicide. double Dutch: gibberish. dutching: the use of gamma r

Vietnam War (1957-1975)

Good Morning. Today I'd like to talk about Vietnam War. For starters I'd like to briefly touch on backgrounds. Vietnam was one of the French colonies in the 19th century. During the 2nd World War Japan conquered Vietnam and drove the French away. In a sense Japan contributed to the independence of Vietnam. But as you all know, Japan lost the war to America and the Soviet Union. In the course of time Cold War began. There were further complicated  developments in Vietnam. In 1954 the Vietnam issue was discussed at the Geneva Conference. They divided Vietnam into two nations, namely North Vietnam and South Vietnam. The Soviet Union supported North Vietnam for Communism, while the US South Vietnam for the causes of capitalism and freedom. Then uprisings induced by the Viet Congs broke out. Immediately US President Lyndon B.Johnson sent his troops to Vietnam to cramp down the rebels. This is the very beginning of Vietnam War. Throuout the war American B 50s bombarded North Vietnam

The last day in Germany

I left Inter City Hotel early in the morning and walked to Nuernberg Station to check out on the subway bound for Nuernberg Airport. Since the  departure time is 11:00 am I had enough time. Then I dropped in the Internet Cafe to kill time. I enjoyed surfing in the Internet and tried to email my daughter back home. But I failed to write to her, because the keyboard was so worn out that I could not make out which key to use. I asked a German sitting next to me. Because of my bad German he couldn't catch what I was saying. In the end I decided to leave the cafe and moved toward the cashier. From nowhere an old handsome gentleman appeared and spoke to me in English. "You're Japanese, aren't you? I've been watching you ever since you entered this cafe." He smiled at me. But I was dumbfounded. Watching me? Incredible! Supervising seems to me the typical German habit. Anyway I had to be friendly, since this is the last day in Germany. All of a sudden I remembered tha

Barack Obama's Speech

Today I'd like to talk about President Barack Obama's speech. There are three reasons why I chose this topic. 1. I want to speak like Obama 2. I want to learn recitations, repetitions and rhetoric from his speech 3. It's been four years since he was appointed President of America. If I emulate his speech, what kind of responses do I get from the audience now? Here's Obama's speech given at his inauguration ceremony on 2nd of February, 2008. "We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds, when we've been told we're not ready or that we shouldn't try or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a smile creed that sums up the spirit of a people. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. It was creed written into the foundin

Physical Check-ups

I must have been an obedient person when I worked for a company. The company provided a physical check-up twice a year. Since I have high blood pressure, I regularly visited a company's clinic once a month. I made a lot of contributions to National Maid Caid. Now I'm retired and a physical check-up is not a must. I kind of overreact when I see the results. For years I suffer from tinnitus. Of course I went on doctor shopping. I gave up on treatment, because there's no cure for the disease. Now I am more like an American who wants to stay out of the hospital. I can eat, sleep, walk and sing in the Karaoke bar. What else do I want, even if my ear-ringing nags me all the time?

A difference in approaches between the Japanese and Americans

-Mr. American, why are you in the hospital? -I'm glad you asked. I've developed hyperparathyroidism, a condition resulting from deficiency of parathyroid hormone. there's always the possibility of tetany, plus the goddamn intermittent, bilateral muscular spasms which are painful as hell. I'll be here for a week or so while they try to raise the calcium level in my blood and reduce the high phosphorous level. Want a glass of milk? -Mr. Japanese, why are you in the hospital? -Because the doctor put me here.

Das Parfum

I finished reading a book entitled "Perfume". It was an intenational bestseller written by a German author. The story focused on Jean Baptise Grenouille, a  perfume apprentice in 18th century France. He was born orphan with no body scent himself. As a young man he decided to make the best perfume in the world. So he begins to stalk and murder vrigins in search of the "perfect scent". He finds a young woman named Laura in a secluded private garden in the southern part of France. It took me almost five months to read this book. For there were so many difficult German words that I could not catch up with the plot. So most of the time I relied on my fantasies. One of my friends read the Japanese translated version. She wanted me to fill in me on the plot. It would be boring to hear that. Moreover it would prevent me from learning German. I never lent an ear to her. I prided myself in my ability to read the book without a dictionary. It's disgusting that a little

To Pursuade People

Giving a speech is important. It sometimes changes the world. Recitation and repetition are important to pursuade people. Like Barack Obama, "Yes, we can!", like Hitler "Sieg Heil!" Your body speaks when you inspire your audience with powerful recitations, vocal variety amd repetitions When I give a peruasive speech, i use repetitions. but I don't want rhetoric The lesson was important to me at a Toastmater Club

Why are French people reluctant to speak English?

The other day I visited my sister in Tokyo. She majored in French political history at a university in Tokyo. Now she's retired and the emeritus professor of a university in Saitama Prefecture. It is sad that she suffers from Alzheimer's for years. I had always thought about how I could ever revive her memory. This time I prepared for a lot of questions related with  "French Quarters." Question: Why are French people reluctant to speak English? Answer: The French believe that they are the most culturally refined people in the world. They are proud of the fact that the French Revolution in the 18th century created the Enlightenment, freedom and equality, which we take it for  granted among the leading western nations today.  That's why they don't need to practice English. They think  French  is the greatest, the most beautiful,  the most decent language of all the nations. Have you ever seen President Sarkozy speak English? That's out of the question! If

How to learn English

Good Morning everyone! Today I'd like to tell you how to become a good English speaker. There are 7 requirements for that 1. I like English 2. When I was a kid, I used to learn English 3. Make a list of word book 4. I study an American/ British culture through English 5. I give a talk about one theme by myself 6. Repeat other people's expressions like a parrot 7. Enjoy learning English In April, 1961 I entered Seijo junior high school in Tokyo. In September Masafumi sat next to me in the classroom. He used to go to Jefferson elementary school, in Seattle, Washington, U.S.A. before coming back to Japan. He is a tall and and good-looking boy. Somehow I made friends with him. In the English class everyone was enchanted with his all American pronunciation. When he spoke English, he behaved like an American child actor "Beaver-chan". He's sweet. Sometimes we exchanged open reel tapes manufactured by SONY. I recorded my voice letter in English and sent it to

Alzheimer's

Last week I watched a TV program entitled Alzheimer's. I was interested in the disease, since my 74-year-old sister has suffered from it for years. An authoritative doctor talked about the prevention of Alzheimer's. An interviewer was a 52 year-old Japanese actress whose mother has also Alzheimer's.  First of all I'd like to tell you about the prevention of the disease. I covered the following 5 points. 1. The earlier the detection, the better the medicine works 2. Take a walk every day for 30 minutes that stimulates your blood circulation 3. Don't live alone. Find friends. Get socially along with people. 4. A little bit tension is needed in your daily life to use your brain 5. A critical stage is when you have retired from your work An interesting case is that a 70-year-old bookworm woman who in the least wanted to come down with Alzheimer's had eventually the onset of Alzheimer's at the age of 80. So you can't tell what happens tomorrow even if

Second affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. exhuasted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you, " he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

First Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been doing fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"

Bukkake Vacation

Last Staurday my wife went on a trip to Hawaii. The moment she arrived in Honolulu, she texted me "Aloha!" The next day my daughter went to Hiroshima with her friends on vacation. I was so gratified that I had a whole house to myself. You know, I enjoyed watching beautiful young women in the Internet. Sometimes I even masturbated in front of a British hot woman by the name of Wendy. She looked so gorgeous with those scanties and I obtained orgasmus many times. Now jerking off became part of my life. But don't take me wrong, My intention is purely medical. It stimulates blood circulation and has good effect on my relieving tinnitus..Moreover I can check myself if I am still potential or not. I was happy that I was able to generate a large amount of bukkake secretion. Then I went shopping, did the dishes and washed clothes. Yet I became sort of tired. I felt lonely in the spacious condo. I sympathiesed with my sister, namely a widow without childeren, who suffers  from d

I've seen better days

Recently I had failing eyesight. So I dropped in a shop by the name of "Paris Miki". There were two elderly sales clerks. Usually I put on spectacles from the shelf and examine the pictures. Since I got a creditcard from my wife, I ordered "ordered made" spectacles. First of all I had my eyes examined. I sat at the inspecting machine and was about to look into the inside through the slot. The old chap said, "Wait a minute. First and foremost you raise your eyelids with your hands, then stick your head to the machine." I really raised my eyebrows and said, "Oh, man, how could I do that! My fingers are getting in my way!" Then he called out the other one for help, "Look, this guy has slit eyes. Grab his eyelids and push 'em way up." Now inside the machine I could tell  small circles with the dent up, with the dent sides and with the dent at the bottom. So much for testing my eyesight. One week later, I got the new spectacles. Thank

Idiom Theater

Read the beginning of a conversation between Mason, the tough detective, and his client, the beautiful widow, Mrs. Street. Where there are blanks, try to fit in the proper body idiom from the list. At Mason's office on a rainy afternoon. There is a frantic knock on the floor. Mason:              Well, hello beautiful! Come in. You're XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX! Poor thing.                          Who are you and what's the problem? Mrs. Street:       Please give me a moment to XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX.                          I've been running in the rain. I'm so scared! I'm XXXXXXXXXX. Mason:             Here let me help you with your coat. If you need XXXXX. You've come to the right  place. Mrs. Street::     You are the famous detective, Mr. Mason? Mason:             Yes, that's right. Please sit down. Look, I don't want to XXXXXXXXXXX.                       A. a shoulder to cry on                       B. a bundle of nerves                    

I'm an obedient husband

As a member of the family, one of my chores is to go shopping. Yesterday I bought four rolls of kitchen paper, 6 rolles of toilet paper and a pile of non-woven cloth for the kitchen sink at a drugstore on the Tenjinbashi Suji shopping street. Then I headed for my apartment. It was a windy day. I dragged the large plastic bag behind me. I sometimes faltered along the way. As I got inside the apartment, a woman at the front desk said cheerfully, "Welcome back, Sir!" and then she giggled. I was a little bit ashamed. After that I wemt up the 20th floor to meet my wife. She smiled at me and said, "Hi, Pochi! Sit! You're the most valuable servant I've ever seen." Now I've decided to be obedient to her for the rest of my life.

I'm joking around

(A test of courage) Showman-Ladies and gentlemen, I will proceed to enter the cage of this wild untamed lion. Intoxicated man-Thatsh nothing, ole fel. Just you tackle my wife's mom, and then you can brag. (Strengthening memory) A-My memory is getting weaker and weaker every day. B-I can't give you a remedy. A-What is it? B-Lend me fifty dollars. Wife-Do you really think that marriage is a lottery? Husband-No, I do not. Wife-(somewhat surprised) Why don't you? Husband-Because when a fellow has once drawn a blank, he can't go and purchase another chance. Student: Why are Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? Teacher: There were so many knights.

Blog about tinnitus

It's been three years since I started writing a blog about ringing in ears. But I made an announcement that I would quit writing it by the end of this year. Then I got feedback from a strange  chap who allegedly had sleeping diseases. (Quote) Hello Min-Min-Onkel, I have been suffering from insomnia for a long time. Looking back on the onset, it was induced by ringing in ears. At that time the medicine by the name of "Stomin" turned down the noise to some extent. In the course of time the doctor prescribed "Lendormin" which also worked out. It had a pleasant effect on my sleep. All of a sudden the ringing sound is so loud that drives me crazy. I can't sleep a wink night after night. I rushed to the doctor and begged him to get my my problem settled. To my surprise he got angry and yelled at me like Yakuza, "I can't give you medicine anymore. Call on some other practitioners, if you want to. You should be satisfied with the fact that you can sleep

New Toastmaster Club

Last Staurday I dropped off at Ojikoen Station and walked through the residential area to AA Plaza where a monthly meeting of a Toastmaster Club was held. There were 25 participants including two Americans and one British. I'm glad to see the president of the club again. All in all I enjoyed the meeting and could brush up on my English. First of all the president called on me to stand up and say something. I introduced myself and told her why I was there. I just wanted to get a feeling of the toastmaster club again. An interesting part was a table topic session. The table topic speaker called on a member to stand up and ask a question. He or she has to answer the question off the cuff and it should last about 2 minutes. The topic was about "If you could ride on a timemachine and relive the incident in the past, what would you like to see?" After that five members gave a speech. each one for 5-7 minutes, which is followed by the evaluating session. In this sessi

The Six Signals All Audiences Want to Hear

Singal number one: "I will not waste  your time" Thank you, Tim for that gracious introduction, and good morning everyone, I'd like to begin (signal) my brief remarks (reinforcing signal) by asking all of you to consider where we'd be today without modern, computerized banking. Good evening. I know you are all anxious (signal) to hear from our guest speaker tonight, so I'll just tell you one or two things (reinforcing signal) I don't think you know about him. As you know, my subject this morning is fire prevention. In a few seconds (signal), I'm going to give you the three cornerstones of good fire safety (reinforcing signal). But first, I'd like to tell you a true story about a boy, a dog, and a box of matches... Signal number two: "I know who you are".At first Widget Bank, we have many retail merchant clients (signal) who, like you (reinforcing signal) have severe cash-flow problems. Signal number three: "Here's how my spe

Japanisch-Deutschen Gesellschaft Kobe

Last Saturday I visited Japan-Germany Association in Kobe to brush up on my German. As usual about 10 participants gathered and sat at a table ( "Stammtisch") to speak German freely. The topic was about "Where in Germany would you show Japanese tourists around, if you were a tourist guide?" Wow, Most of the participants travelled around places like Berlin, Muenchen, Heidelberg, Bremen and Hamburg.  Popular sightseeing places for the Japanese are "Neuschwanstein Caslte" in the romantic street, Berlin Wall and  Oktoberfest in Muenchen. As far as Neuschweinstein is concerned, it is interesting to know that it took 17 years for Ludwig der zweite to build the Neuschwanstein castle. But he actually  lived there only for one year. According to a middle aged German woman, one of the participants, most Germans won't visit these sightseeing places where the Japanese hang around. Unlike the Japanese, they enjoy visiting a Christmas market in Nuerunberg, Toy M

THE OVERNIGHT GUIDE TO PUBLIC SPEAKING

Drafting your speech You will never give a good speech if you don't first reduce everything to writing. That means every sentence and every word of every sentence. Your all important starting point is a fully-written text. Why? There are three reasons. 1). You must have the incentive to think the speech through word for word. 2). You must have the opportunity to edit what you've started with. 3). You must have the confidence that comes only after you know that every word has been mapped out in advance. 1. Starting your draft 2. Adding further development 3. The first reading 4. The edit reading Preparing the delivery " Thank you, Martin, and good afternoon everyone. I know you book pros have heard evry ovrblown adjective in existence, but "The Overnight Guide to Public Speaking" is really a unique book- nothing like it is out there on the shelve at this moment. but before I give you a short tour of the contents, I need about a minute and a ha

Switzerland where my aunt Susanne lives

-Capital: Bern -Official Languages: German, French, Italian, Romanisch -Area: 41,284 kilo sqaure meter(one tenth of Japan) -Population: 7,593,500 (20 % of the population: foreigners) -Currency: Swiss Franc (1 Franc=89 Yen) -Misc: In 1815 European Powers recognized Swiss neutrality permenently Young Russians whose fathers are wealthy came to Siwtzerland. They make car races on our highways with expensive cars. Recently they inquired an old man. They came free throgh a bail. One father flew his sons back home with his private jet. The rich Russians are not liked here in Europe. They lodge in expensive hotels and behave awfully.

I'm a pussy-whipped husband

Today I'd like to tell you about my bittersweet memory. When I joined a medical appliance company in 1998, I worked like a horse.But I was sick and tired of my job. Actually I was considering leaving the company. By the same token one of my colleagues living in America told me that he's left a chemical company in Atlanta, Gerogia and signed up for a Japanese-American company by the name of "Lord Warrior". Let me introduce the company to you. (Quote) "Lord Warrior" has been providing Advisory Management Consulting and Executive and Professional Placement Services in the Automotive, Manufacturing, Construction and Technology Industries for over 20 years. In our 21st year in business, we are pleased to extend our expertise to these industries as they accelerate thier need for Renewable Energy Innovations to meet the today's challenge and the future." (Unquote) I was fascinated by the company's rhetoric. In December 2003 I visited the company in P

Friendly Club

Remember the first time you attended a Toastmaster meeting? Almost immediately someone stepped forward to greet you, ask your name and introduced you to other club members. Within moments you made a decision: This is a friednly group of people! In this evening's presentation, we're going to learn more about those special "moments of truth" and how we can use such episodes to strengthen and improve our club. This presentation is part of the Toastmasters International's Successful Club Seiries. The Successful Club Seiries is a set of programs addressing the subject of how to plan and conduct quality meetings. Today's presentation will be givien by CTM, ACB CL the captivating Susanne Braun. Please join us in welcoming TM Susanne Braun. Thanks in advance See you later

Great Thinkers

Abba Eban; Better to be disliked than pitied Decartes: I think, therefore I am Anti-human person: The more people I meet, the more I like my dog Intelligence Agency: Alcohol is a good fluid for preserving almost everything except a secret Oscar Wilde: The proper basis for marriage is a mutual misunderstanding

Learn to live with tinnitus

1. Cognitive Behavior Therapy -Effective for depression, a multitude of anxiety disorders, and a vast array of other medical conditions, including diabetes, irritable bowel disorder, and chronic pain conditions -Provides skills to reduce internal attention and improve coping by divising alternative thinking and behavior patterns that help in distracting 2. Thinking Distortions -"All" or "Nothing" thinking * I've noticd my tinnitus, now my whole day is ruined * I have tinnitus, therefore life is rotten -To overcome thinking distortions, patients need to create alternative thoughts *What about the fact that It's a beautiful sunny day today? * Yes, I have tinnitus, and it's a beautiful sunny day 3. Create a list of pleasant activities -Write down items * Walking * Concerts * Movies * Sporting events * Gardening * Dining out * Excercising * Attending English Classes 4. The main goal -Having the thought, "I'll never get better

Sounding Good in English

-Tips for non-native speakers- 1. Immersion -The more you can participate in an English language envrionment, the more interchanges you have with English speaking friends or counterparts, the more your command of English will develop. 2.Reading -If frequent interaction with native speakers is impossible, another good technique for improving your English is reading. -Extended reading in English, especially on topics that interests you, will automatically help you develop a sophisticated vocabulary and skill with the more complex structures of the language. 3. Guidance & Support -Try to get a teacher or a class as soon as you can who guides you and correct your mistakes before you become too fluent. -The natural mistakes you make while learning a second language will tend to become ingrained, or "fossilized" to use the linguistic term. -You can also prevail upon friends or colleagues to correct both your pronunciation and your grammar. 4. Role Model -Choose

Risikos im sozialen Netzwerk

Three years ago I applied for Google email address. For my German teacher started using Googl's blogger as his textbook. To gain access to his files, I needed Google's membership. A year ago I signed up for a social network by the name of Zwei.com. which comprising 1. chattinng up friends 2. posting photographs and writing blog. I used this website strictly for writing up my blog. Once you finish up writing, it's very easy to edit your draft on-line again and again. In the course of time I received quite a few strange comments from women around the world. They are interested in my blog, so want me write them personally."Listen, Quickie, I'm a pretty little blonde girl with brains. I let you know my vital statistics 36-24-37. I am looking forward to your quickest reply. Don't be always a Quickie" The first thing occurred to me is my wife and daughter, although that attractive come-on style offer was irrisitable. So I made it point of turning off their co

Siberian Husky

In April, 1995 I was attending a sales meeting in Atlanta. Russ took us Japanese out for dinner. In there I had a chance to sit next to Jeff at the dinner table. At the far end of the table Akira started talking  with the top brass about specifics of enginnering plastic products. Then I started talking with Jeff about Evie, Because I saw her walking into the office. I notice that she wore a jacket embroidened with colorful signs of Siberian Huskies. The sign describes "Siberian Huskkies Club of Greater Chicago" I asked him whether Evie keeps a dog at home. Jeff suggested that, "Maybe you should ask her on your own. She'd be glad to answer you." Back in Tokyo I sent her a letter with a picture of  my Huskies. To my surprise she sent me a letter with a lot of pictures of the very Siberian Huskies and their pedigrees. She was grateful to me for sending the letter and she says she still keeps my letter and the picture in her purse as a reminder. I am looking for